It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
