He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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