And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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