im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize