We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am available for nakedness
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
