this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
