I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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