Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
