Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
