i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
