i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
