best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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