remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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