If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
