I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
