Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
