When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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