lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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