my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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