at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
