thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
