is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
