just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
