they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
