Pappa wants mamma naked
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
