There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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