I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
