just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
