Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
