Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
