the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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