Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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