Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
