Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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