i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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