I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize