I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
