If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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