Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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