watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
