the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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