he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
