FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
