Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
