im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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