naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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