similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
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It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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