my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His nipple licking is glorious
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