you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
