i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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