so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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