I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Terrible idea I love it
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
