You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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