My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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