Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
