I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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