dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
