Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
