I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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