I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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